yesterday slept at 6. then today 2plus then woken up. hadn't seen mum & dad. but their talisman is still on the ancestor table. thats weird. because they would definitely bring it if they were out. anyway. i've not had my breakfast&lunch. so will be going down to grab some bites. im quite envy of cuppy & felix. they can be so sweet. but having small quarrels always ? =.="

friday night, brother told me alot of stuff. which i thought over & thinks its right. we have styles. yea. but those are just things we got from from someone else. maybe a little from each of others. its just that they hadn't notice it or hadn't know. so by right, we only used our thinkings to think of sichen. but we hadn't consider her feelings. thats quite true.

some philosophy i think is right:
上樑不正，下梁就要懂得改正，而不是学他一样歪。
everyone has their own thinking. its only a matter of time & environment that leads them to the correct path.
if you think what you are doing is right. go for it. & don't care about other's judgment.
never be influenced by majorities thinking. thats not it.
never do things that will make you regret the next minute. no impulsiveness too.
you never know ur limit till you really burst onto flames.

then we talked till arnd 6.30am. i went to sleep. hais. was quite regret blaming sichen again. for what we hadn't really understand. anyway. woke up at 1 & saw ening jie. bro & ening jie lasted for half a year le. this coming 23rd is their half year anni. its so sweet. hadn't been blogging for yesterday cause im just feeling so moody. been feeling a sense of unimportantness. i knew it means i doubt trust on friend & etc. but everytime we quarrel. its the same feeling. lets just hope that this isn't true. because if it was. i'll rather isolate myself. like the same before.

browsing cuppy's blog just now. reading the `o5's blog of hers. & saw her blog of how she hates me like hell. but i knew thats all past. perhaps im just too paranoid. i DO trust them. ^^ & trusted them even more then my family. thats a fact.

now crystal kena grounded. less one to talk to. hurrhurrs. won't be blogging anymore today i think. having slight depression perhaps. so will be watching tevee & do other things. & will be MIA-ing till 21st dec. i felt so neglected that, i'll rather keep everything to myself. sorry sisters. i really can't tell anything now. but i'll tell you everything if you wanted to hear, maybe after junyong came back. shall be happy then? i don't know.

dear. again im so troubled. don't know what to do.
after sichen incident, makes me feel so dishearted.
i can just dump my friend away, & yet, be back with her so soon.
was it true sistership, or just plain disagreement that leads to hateness?
i don't know. another 5 days perhaps. i'll be meeting you.
but theres a feeling that can't go away in me. are we still as ever ? T.T
& btw. nothing is FOREVER. we never know our future. i loved you. mwarhhks